Posts Tagged ‘baby daddies’

Neurons to Networks–An Excellent Video

In baby, Birth, birth,baby,perinatal,oxytocin,pitocin,mother,infant,newborn, brain development, breastfeeding, Childhood, infant, maternity, mother, Parenting, perinatal, prenatal, Prenatal Experience on November 25, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Twelve years ago it was the book “From Neurons to Neighborhoods” and a wonderful conference in Los Angeles that brought together people who understood the importance of the links between healthy brain development and safe, supportive neighborhoods for families.

Now even more research supports the concept that safe, loving early relationships have phenomenal power over the trajectory of childhood brain development. Such research also serves to underline some of the reasons for the high aggression and poor learning ability (among other symptoms) shown by many of the young children I see in therapy–the powerful effects of early childhood trauma: abuse and neglect (sometimes even before birth–such as exposure to street drugs or alcohol).

There are regrettably few individuals around the world who know how to restructure brain development gone awry, and they can only do so much and only up to a certain point. We need to be able to get it right the first time, and to help people understand why this is so important, and what it will take to make it possible for more babies and their parents.

Anyway, this was meant to be a brief introduction to the video: which the makers are willing to tailor to the needs of individual organizations that wish to use it. Please enjoy it (it lasts under 11 minutes) and feel free to share it wherever it might be useful.

My personal hope is that it will help us to provide what is necessary to give infants and young children a better start in life–with safer, more loving families, more time with the folks who care for them, paid parental leave, and simpler births more supportive of mothers’ and babies’ mutual dance of love.

Baby Daddies: In memory of my father, Samuel Winstone, who passed away March 1977.

In Parenting on June 21, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Claire and her daddy

Claire and her daddy

This is for all the baby daddies who aren’t at home for their children to celebrate; for all the daddies who sowed the seed but were not around to water the plant and support it to grow straight and strong into flower.

This is for all the baby daddies whose boys are lost and angry because no-one has shown them how to grow up to be men; who seek fathering from their peers, from gang-bangers and drug-dealers bedecked in bling. Who endlessly question what they did, or what was wrong with them, that made those daddies go away and not return, who medicate the pain of loss with booze, with speed, with weed, and grow up to walk out on their own babies because they have no other blueprint.

 This is for all the baby daddies whose daughters have never heard from a trustworthy male that they are wonderful, beautiful, and brilliant, that their sexuality is awesome and precious, and not to be toyed with frivolously. Who never learn how to be in a healthy intimate relationship because no-one has shown them, who trade sex to try to get the love they missed, and who make babies with new baby daddies who leave them loveless and with child.   

 This is for all the baby daddies whose children were harmed because they were not there to protect them, who went hungry because they were not there to work for food to put on the table.

 This is for all the baby daddies who were hurt, neglected or abandoned by their own fathers and have never confronted the pain of their losses, but unthinkingly followed in those tracks . . . and those whose anguish has led them to be behind bars.

 This is for all the baby daddies whose children have no-one there to celebrate on this day . . .

 Today is your day too.  It could be the day you decide to break the cycle, to be the generation in your lineage who found the courage to go home, to ask forgiveness, and find a place with your children. Today could be the first of many on which your children will have reason to celebrate—and so will you . . .

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More on absent fathers:

In Parenting on June 21, 2009 at 9:15 pm

Here is a link to a terrific spoken word piece: