speaking4baby

Baby Daddies: In memory of my father, Samuel Winstone, who passed away March 1977.

In Parenting on June 21, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Claire and her daddy

Claire and her daddy

This is for all the baby daddies who aren’t at home for their children to celebrate; for all the daddies who sowed the seed but were not around to water the plant and support it to grow straight and strong into flower.

This is for all the baby daddies whose boys are lost and angry because no-one has shown them how to grow up to be men; who seek fathering from their peers, from gang-bangers and drug-dealers bedecked in bling. Who endlessly question what they did, or what was wrong with them, that made those daddies go away and not return, who medicate the pain of loss with booze, with speed, with weed, and grow up to walk out on their own babies because they have no other blueprint.

 This is for all the baby daddies whose daughters have never heard from a trustworthy male that they are wonderful, beautiful, and brilliant, that their sexuality is awesome and precious, and not to be toyed with frivolously. Who never learn how to be in a healthy intimate relationship because no-one has shown them, who trade sex to try to get the love they missed, and who make babies with new baby daddies who leave them loveless and with child.   

 This is for all the baby daddies whose children were harmed because they were not there to protect them, who went hungry because they were not there to work for food to put on the table.

 This is for all the baby daddies who were hurt, neglected or abandoned by their own fathers and have never confronted the pain of their losses, but unthinkingly followed in those tracks . . . and those whose anguish has led them to be behind bars.

 This is for all the baby daddies whose children have no-one there to celebrate on this day . . .

 Today is your day too.  It could be the day you decide to break the cycle, to be the generation in your lineage who found the courage to go home, to ask forgiveness, and find a place with your children. Today could be the first of many on which your children will have reason to celebrate—and so will you . . .

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  1. And also, for the baby daddies who swing the pendulum too far in the other direction, refusing to leave abusive, loveless marriages out of fear of doing the same to their children that was done to them.

    May all you baby daddies find peace, and happiness down to your bones.

  2. I think this information on daddies is wonderful!
    It shows many viewpoints and provides insight into how every kind of experience with daddies affects people- and even indicates how forgiveness can change history for entire families!

    These comments can evoke healing in many ways.

    I am touched by your dedicating this blog to your own daddy.
    Thank you!

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